it has been three days since i left most everything behind. i am sleeping in a chair at night and trying to help open a shop by day. i paid the bike shop the last of my money, and i'll have to build the mighty steed before i go. i've been yelled at by a crazy Chinese lady because i'm helping her tenant try to make a living. i'm talking with more people than i ever have before, and working far less than i expected. it is strange, but good. there is a sense of right-ness to this endeavor. if all goes well i will be leaving here at the end of the week, bike built, places planned, shop ready, mind clear. i can do this.

you may wish to know how i got here. i had worked at the same place for the last 4 years, supporting my last relationship, slowly driving myself to a place of bitterness, anger and spite. i acted out. i pushed people away. i made her hate me, and i am solely responsible for that. i fucked up. so she left, and i made a decision to leave as well. leave everything and take myself on the adventure that will be the remainder of my life. we'll see if that was a good decision down the road, but i will never regret it. it's what i've done, it's what i have to do. regret won't help me.

the plan now is to go wherever people need help, and help them. no money thank you, but if i could sleep inside that would be nice. a meal would be cool too, if you think my help warrants it. i'm going to be taken advantage of. i'm going to receive help from people i don't know, and will never see again. i'm going to live as gratefully as i can, help everyone that asks for it, and ask for very little in return. i work because it is what life is; work. i help because that is what you do; help. we shall see how it goes.